Individual Therapy for Those in a Marriage
She said:
Dear Diary,
Today was really difficult. I don’t really know where to begin. You see, I love Dave, I really do, but lately I find myself avoiding being around him. I am not sure why.
We went on a date last week, we finally got a sitter, but I had nothing to say to him. He tried to take my hand, but his touch made me cringe. It happens a lot lately, every time he touches me, I just want to run away.
I can’t help but feel that he always wants something from me; no matter how much I give, it is never enough. He says I don’t talk to him, but he should know after 10 years what my needs are.
Why do I need to keep telling him?
I know I disappoint him. Seeing his sad eyes and knowing it is all my fault. I just cried in the shower. What’s wrong with me?
Diane
He said:
Yesterday was bad. Again. I love Diane; we have been married for 10 years. She used to be fun, outgoing, and affectionate; but ever since our youngest was born, things got worse.
She is always tired. I never do anything right, or the way she wants me to. Nothing is enough.
I feel like she and the kids are a team, and I am always lagging far behind, like a stranger in my own home.
I can’t even touch her. I feel at a loss. She is unhappy, but she is not talking to me.
Lately, I found myself staying extra hours at work. Better there than coming back to a cold home. I love my kids, but I really miss my wife. I miss us.
Dave
Sound familiar?
Relationships are hard – no doubt about it.
Sometimes, we are so busy in managing our day-to-day lives that our significant other becomes a roommate – or worse, another chore on a never-ending list.
Qualities that attracted you to each other may now become annoying, like his soft-spoken manner and easy-going nature may now seem like he never has anything to say or that he is too passive.
Your wife’s bubbly personality and outgoing nature that you were so drawn to in the early days may now be too much for you to handle. It seems like she is constantly looking for attention, or always doing something – never relaxes. It is exhausting to just keep up with her.
Putting the Pieces Together Again
Whatever the forces that are pulling you apart, remember that once upon a time the same forces pulled you together.
You no longer need to hold your pain in silence.
Do you remember how you met?
Do you remember the way you used to feel?
Perhaps both of you need to be reminded.
Coming Together Through Therapy
Therapy can help you understand what happened to that spark and help ignite it again.
In therapy, you will learn to identify what happened, why, and why now?
You will work on new ways to express your desires, but also your pain and frustrations.
You will put all the pieces together and understand how unfinished business and unresolved grief and pain can be acted out in your relationships – and how to break that cycle.
More importantly, you will learn to experience love again – first, toward yourself.
While I don’t offer couples counseling, your individual sessions will consider your significant other, kids, family system, culture, and faith.
Please complete the contact form below or schedule a call – and let’s get started.
*Names changed to protect client confidentiality.
